


Evolution Isn't Just for Monkeys

by Novaforever



Category: K-pop, Wonder Girls
Genre: Angst, F/F, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-10
Updated: 2012-12-10
Packaged: 2017-11-20 19:44:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/588980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Novaforever/pseuds/Novaforever
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Miso fic dealing with the events leading up to Sun Mi's departure from Wonder Girls.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Evolution Isn't Just for Monkeys

**Author's Note:**

> Written as a birthday fic for iLOVEsunmi on WGspectacle.

I giggled as So Hee's fingertips lightly brushed against my own. She always had the most concentrated expressions when she was working on something fashionable for me. People always say that her glare is the most intense look she can give. I laugh in all their faces since they have obviously never seen So Hee focusing on something to do with her beloved fashion. 

So Hee's eyes narrowed as she buffed out my last nail to a perfect oval. 

"Honestly Sun Mi, I don't know how you can let your fingers go to waste like this. You are an idol, you should start looking like one," So Hee complained loudly as she reached for a bottle of nail polish.

"Eh. It doesn't really matter in the end does it? We are all gonna die when global warming gets serious anyway."

So Hee looked up from my nails to give me one of her patented death glare looks of disapproval.

"Correction. You need to start acting like an idol too," she said with a sigh as she went back to work.

I grinned at her even though she couldn't see it due to her focus on making me as fashionable as she felt I should be. This sort of thing happened all the time. Whenever So Hee felt I wasn't quite up to par she would harass me until I let her fix my nails, outfit, whatever was the issue at the time. 

And I loved it. I could tell that she did too. She loved fussing over me, even if she would play it off as mild displeasure at having to do some sort of work. This was the sort of banter that we always had and I wouldn't have it any other way. Sometimes So Hee acted really upset by my shining pearls of wisdom, but I could tell that she ate them up. At least I hope she did... sometimes it was a little hard to tell with her being so stoic and all.

So Hee continued to brush a bright purple nail polish on my fingers. I had yelled at her for her morbid choice of black last time. It was nice to see that my favorite color had been chosen this time around.

"Seriously, at some point you should grow up and act more like a lady. You are going to be 19 soon and you still use fuzzy bunny slippers. I don't even know what you are thinking sometimes," So Hee criticized me dryly.

"Whaaaat?" I whimpered as I flicked a wet fingernail at her face. "You made me wear slippers just to hang out with you in your room! If I have to wear something it might as well be adorable!"

So Hee glared at me as she rubbed the still wet purple polish off her cheek. Oops. Maybe I shouldn't have gone that far. So Hee stood up and threw the bottle of nail polish at me.

"I don't know why I bother sometimes. People are supposed to grow up and change, but it's like you are stuck in the ice age. It's not like you are ever going to evolve into a more normal person."

"Evolution is for monkeys, not for Sun Mis," I sang in a sing-song voice.

My best friend just rolled her eyes at me in response. 

"Yeah well I'll finish your nails when you turn into a monkey then," she taunted as she turned on her heel and left the room in a flash of shining black hair.

I listened to her stomp down the hallway to her own room before letting my cheerful smile drop from my face. With a sigh I fell back onto my bed and stared up at the ceiling. 

People could evolve too. I knew it deep down inside, not because I had spent the past few years watching Yubin grow out of her shell, or Ye Eun become an outgoing front woman, but because I knew deep down that I had changed. 

And that thought terrified me to the depths of my soul. Scared me even more than the monster that lived in my closet between two and three AM or the hole in the ozone layer. When I joined JYP Entertainment all I wanted was to be the best singer possible. That thought defined all the hard work I had been doing for the past several years. But now...

I lifted my hand up listlessly and stared at my half painted fingernails. A tear slipped down my cheek as my eyes took in the bright purple color; my favorite shade of purple. 

She was what had changed everything; had changed me. 

When I had joined the Wonder Girls I had been far too young to even bother myself with boys or dating, so it was never an issue. I would always answer interviewer's questions about what guys I thought were cute by saying that I was only interested in So Hee. The interviewer and I would laugh about it and So Hee would glare. Yet after a while... I didn't feel like I was trying to be funny anymore. So Hee was cute. So Hee was sexy. So Hee was... everything to me. Not even SNSD could compete anymore.

I grabbed my pillow next to me and threw it over my face to muffle the sobs I knew were going to come soon. 

This was almost too much. Who would have guessed when I joined an idol group that I would grow up to like girls? Or girl. Since it was really just the one. America was hard enough right now without me having to question my feelings for my best friend like this. The two factors combining together was almost too much. 

So Hee wasn't exactly the most open person in the world; reading her had gotten easier over the years, but it wasn't like I was a psychic alien mind reader here. Despite that I was still fairly certain that she wouldn't feel the same way as me. She flipped through magazines and went to movies constantly, always commenting on all the cute boys she saw there. Talking to her about fluffy girl on girl feelings didn't really seem like an option.

Nor would I really be able to talk to the older trio about how I felt. Those three gave 'fervor' a whole new definition sometimes. I already felt like enough of a sinner cause I didn't go to church every week with them. If they knew about my true feelings and what I had become...

My teeth bit the pillow to keep my crying from coming out too loudly. The other Girls already knew how much I had been crying lately. Yubin kept coming into our room to fine me with tears running down my cheeks as I thought about my terrible, non-monkey related evolution. 

Eh. I wasn't always the quickest member of Wonder Girls, but I did know some things; purple was my favorite color, aliens came from Mars, Ye Eun would always beat me in chess.

And I was head over heels for my best friend Ahn So Hee. 

I spent the rest of the night as I usually did; crying into my pillow and cursing Darwin and his wacky theory of evolution.

\---------------

So Hee had quickly forgiven me for the whole purple nail polish ordeal. Like she would ever be able to resist my puppy dog eyes. It made me wonder in the back of my mind what would happen if I used those to another end... like say convincing her to look at me in the same way I saw her. 

I certainly found that thought coming to mind more and more often lately. Unfortunately being in an idol group together meant you saw your group members a lot. Plus our time in America forced us into tight quarters for things like the Jonas Brother's Tour, making it really hard to think about anything besides the gorgeous sullen girl constantly at my side. In fact it was driving me crazy. The whole secret identity thing was far cooler when you were Batman and not just trying to keep it from your best friend that you were totally gay for her. 

It was definitely taking its toll on me too. I couldn't even remember the amount of times I fell asleep with my face buried in my pillow so the other Girls wouldn't hear me cry. Like that would fool them anyway; Sun Ye was constantly mothering me over the dark circles under my eyes now. 

I sighed as I forced myself to avoid thinking such depressing thoughts, especially when I was supposed to be hanging out with Yubin. My eyes drifted over to the tan girl. She threw her head back and laughed at something that was happening in the Supernatural DVD she had put on our TV. I shifted my position on my bed so I was draped off the front. Maybe watching the silly boy studded show would be more entertaining upside down. A large piano fell on the one character and Yubin laughed loudly again.

Nope. This wasn't any better really. 

My mind drifted back to my current troubles. Wouldn't it just be easier to ... leave? 

Eh. What a depressing thought that was. The Girls were practically my family now. We had been together for thick and thin for the past several years. Leaving them would hurt almost as much as leaving my mom back in Korea. Then again, you weren't exactly supposed to be in love with your sister either...

"Yubin, do you think I should quit Wonder Girls," I asked her suddenly from my silly position on my bed.

She didn't even look back at me.

"Yeah yeah, you should probably just quit," she said disinterestedly as she chuckled at the boys on the television.

Gee Yubin. Thanks a lot for that. I slid the rest of the way off my bed and flopped around on the floor.

"Yah Yubin, you're no help!" I yelled with a pout.

Yubin finally looked down off her bed at me with her usual blank expression.

"Huh?"

I looked back up at her day dreamy expression and wondered what it would be like to not be able to see it every day. My eyes drifted down to my fingernails against the carpet, the chipped purple reminding me of my sister from another mister. Eh. This was speeding ahead like the melting of the polar ice caps right now, and if I wasn't careful I was going to be leaking about that amount of water out of my eyes in front of Yubin.

"Did you know over 20 species a day go extinct across the Earth?" I spouted out randomly.

The tanned girl stared at me blankly for a couple of seconds before turning back to the television.

"Right-Oh weirdo," Yubin called out as she continued ogling the hot boys on screen.

There was nothing for me here. I sighed as I realized that applied in more way than one. 

I lifted myself sadly off the carpet and crept out of the room as quickly as I could so Yubin couldn't see how saddened I was by her offhand comments. 

I could never let any of them see how sad I am.

\-----------

I curled up on a stool in the kitchen and watched the bright lights of cars pass by on the street below. My hand hurriedly pushed away more of the tears that were falling down my cheeks. Thank goodness the darkness of the kitchen gave me a nice hiding spot. All the other Girls were bound to be back in their bedrooms getting ready for bed at this point. 

All I really wanted was to stay away from them, if even for an hour. The idea of leaving was still fresh in my mind and I didn't want to see them and break down into even more tears of indecision. They always weakened my defenses.

Especially her.

"Hey Sun Mi, what are you doing in here?" So Hee's voice came from behind me.

Of course. Cause I was just having that sort of day right?

I turned around slightly to my best friend (sexy stud muffin?) to see her standing there with an empty glass of water. My head dipped a bit so she wouldn't see that I had been crying.

"Just watching all the cars leaking their toxins into the atmosphere," I said as normally as I could.

So Hee's glare burned into me and I could hear her shuffle over to me and pull another stool up to my own. 

"Sun Mi I've known you far too long for you to try and pull that sort of lie off. What's wrong?"

I looked up and So Hee's concerned eyes met my own. All my defenses broke down at once and the tears came rushing out of me just like the polar ice caps I was trying so hard not to be. So Hee reached forward and wrapped her arms around me and pulled me close. Normally my heart would have pounded and I would have made a sly comment to her, but right now I just clung to her like a koala and let the tears out. 

So Hee stayed quiet as I sobbed into her shoulder. She was never as talkative as me and I really appreciated that right now. Her strength was what always pulled me through. Why couldn't I be the unmovable wall that she was? Why was I always the emotional one reduced to tears in the kitchen? Why was I the only one who felt this way about her best friend?

Her hand lightly rubbed a circle on my back as she let me cry everything out. I knew I must be at the end of this bout of tears because the motion was sending little thrills through my body. My head turned slightly in the crook of her neck and I let my breathing slow from my sobs. She shifted slightly in my embrace and I trailed my face away from her, nose gently grazing her cheek, my mind a complete blur from the breakdown and proximity to So Hee. As I reached her lips I hesitated slightly before pressing my own against hers.

It was two seconds of bliss; I could taste the sweet strawberry flavor of her lip gloss and reveled in the soft feeling. Nope, this was nothing like kissing a sister. This was more akin to saving a herd of baby seals from a shark. Or patching up the ozone. Only this was bigger. Nothing would ever be the same on the Earth after this moment. 

And I wasn't wrong.

So Hee's warm, comforting hands pushed hard against my shoulders and forced me back on my stool against the window. I stared at her blankly, realizing what I had just done with my best friend. Her cold eyes blazed at me in the darkness of the kitchen. 

"So Hee... I-I'm so sorry," I stammered out, my voice so much smaller than it usually was.

"It's all fine when we joke around," So Hee growled out. "But that definitely wasn't a joke. And it definitely wasn't alright."

I bit down on my own lips, trying to hide them in shame. What had I been thinking? I couldn't even remember, but I was fairly certain that if I hadn't cried out all my tears earlier there would be more falling right now. 

So Hee stood up off her stool and made her way over to the hallway. I could see her silhouette turn back towards me against the light from the hall. 

"I don't even know what you are thinking sometimes," she said quietly as she disappeared back to the safety of her room.

I slid back against the cool window and stared at the empty spot in the doorway where my best friend had disappeared. My hand reached up and wiped my cheeks uselessly again. My makeup was definitely running all over my face by this point. So Hee would never approve. 

Not that it really mattered anymore.

My mind blurred again, trying to piece together everything. All that it seemed to circle around to was that memory of me falling off the bed, asking Yubin if I should quit, and So Hee's face as she realized what I really was. I could feel my heart pound uselessly in my chest. So Hee...

So Hee was right. People could always change and evolve into something new. 

But she was never going to change into what I desperately needed her to be.

\---------

Never.

\---------

Have you ever had a time where everything just sorta runs together, like paint down a drain? That's basically what my January and February were like. I could pick out little things after the fact, but after that defining moment nothing else really seemed that important. I remember the plane ride to Los Angeles. I remember holding hands with the other Girls in New York City as we prayed at my concert. I remember purple balloons all over the lobby of the JYP Entertainment office.

But most of all I remembered So Hee's eyes burning at me in the darkness of the kitchen.

We had spent time together after that moment, but it wasn't the same. She wouldn't stand as close to me as she once did and just those few extra centimeters of distance killed me that much more inside. Originally I had thought that everything would be more relieving after I made the decision to leave JYPE, but really it just hurt knowing that I would be leaving So Hee in this sort of state. All I wanted right now was for her to wave to me happily at the airport as I went back to Korea and school, but I wasn't sure I was going to get that anymore. 

I poked the last of my clothes into my suitcase and zipped it up tight. With a sigh I picked it up and turned to leave my room, only to find Ye Eun standing in the doorway. She had been practically attached to my side the past couple of days, not letting me out of her sight. I knew it was supposed to make me feel better, but it really only made me notice So Hee's absence all the more. 

"All set?" Ye Eun asked me quietly. 

"As ready as ever," I tried to say happily.

Ye Eun reached out and took my suitcase from me.

"You know we are all going to miss you very much."

A mental image of So Hee rushed to my mind. Would she miss me that much? I really hoped that she would. I mean, we had been friends for so long... she wouldn't just forget all of that would she? I wasn't even sure. I willed an image of aliens fighting Godzilla to my mind and tried to push So Hee out. A small smile crept onto my face at that and I felt slightly more like my usual self.

Ye Eun bumped me lightly with my suitcase to get my attention and I glanced up at her. 

"Hey I'll get this bag for you, why don't you say your goodbyes and everything? You do know how much Sun Ye is going to miss your attempts at cooking right?"

I grinned just a little bit more at that and nodded enthusiastically at Ye Eun. She gave me a thumbs up and left my bedroom with my suitcase and headed downstairs to where the car was waiting to take me to the airport. I trailed slowly after her down the hallway. When I reached the landing I saw Yubin and Sun Ye waiting for me. Sun Ye looked more stressed than I had seen her lately, tears jumping to her eyes at my appearance. 

"Sun Mi... It won't be nearly as lively without you," Sun Ye said sadly. "I'm not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing."

"You know you'll miss my spaghetti and fish sauce," I teased back.

Leader wiped away her tears with a chuckle and pulled me into a hug.

"No, I think I might live just fine without that in my life," she whispered in my ear. "But you I will definitely miss."

I hugged her tight before letting her go to face Yubin. My tanned roommate seemed to be trying to hold back her tears, but was doing a lousy job of it. I poked her arm teasingly.

"So how much will you miss me?"

"I'll definitely miss having you around to watch Supernatural with," Yubin said sadly as she pulled me into a hug too.

"I'm going to be honest," I said quietly as she hugged me. "I never liked Supernatural."

Yubin pushed me out of the hug and stared at me wide eyed. 

"Not like Supernatural?! That's it, get out of my house!"

Sun Ye hit Yubin's arm angrily for her poorly timed joke and I laughed. The two started up their usual awkward bickering and I watched on with amusement. A small shuffling sound came from the hallway up to the landing and I turned around. 

The last member was finally here to see me off. 

Yubin and Sun Ye quickly stopped their fight as they saw So Hee watch me uncomfortably. 

"Um how about we go down to the car and help Ye Eun put the bags in?" Sun Ye suggested quietly to Yubin.

The tanned girl nodded and the two disappeared leaving So Hee and I very much alone on the landing. I knew that I should be saying something right now, but nothing seemed quite right. I was sad to leave New York City. I was sad to leave the Wonder Girls. 

But most of all I was sad to leave her.

Before I knew what was going on, So Hee had my hand in hers. I watched on as she studied my hand carefully.

"Your nails are in terrible shape," she growled quietly.

I smiled, knowing that this was the most natural she had been around me in weeks.

"Well I used to keep this one girl on staff to make them look all idol-like, but I had to let her go," I teased back.

She dropped my hand and hit me halfheartedly in response. I tried my hardest to smile back at her, but it wouldn't matter. She could always see right through me anyway. It was best to just be my normal, blunt self.

"So are you going to miss me?" I asked suddenly.

So Hee stared back at me with her usual intense eyes and I immediately felt silly for asking.

"Of course I'm going to miss you Sun Mi. You are my best friend... and that will never change."

I bit my lips again to keep from remembering. So Hee poked me forcefully in my side and I looked up at her in annoyance. She knew I hated it when she picked on me like that.

"Hey... remember how I said that people always change and evolve and such?" she asked me softly. 

My head tilted as I studied her carefully. Where was she going with this...?

"Yeah..." I answered just as quietly.

So Hee picked up my hands again and studied them in between the two of us. My heart speed up in my chest when I realized that this was the closest that she had been to me since that fateful night a few months ago.

"I'm sorry that I haven't been the best friend over these past few months. With you leaving and all... I'm sure it has been rough on you," So Hee continued.

You have no idea So Hee. I watched her avoid directly looking at me as she stared at my fingernails until she continued talking, even more quietly this time.

"...and I'm really sorry that I couldn't be the kind of um... friend... you wanted me to be," she said with a small frown. 

I waited patiently for her to continue even though all I wanted was to jump on her and wrap her into a hug for her apology. 

"I really do think that people always evolve," So Hee continued in her hushed voice. "So even though I can't be... the So Hee you want me to be right now... Maybe someday I will."

My heart slowed its hurried beat in my chest as So Hee looked up at me with a determined expression. Her eyes were ablaze once again, but not with anger this time. All memory of those eyes ever hurting me was wiped from my mind and I let a tiny bit of hope creep into my heart.

"So you have to promise you will come back," she said with conviction. "You have to come back to the new evolved So Hee."

I smiled widely at her and leaned forward to hug my best friend and future something more. She mumbled something I couldn't understand, but didn't fight my touch. This felt so much better, so much more natural. We were supposed to be like this, not standing awkwardly apart. I leaned my forehead against hers with a smile.

"Only if you promise that you can accept that I will be light-years smarter than you when I come back from school."

I couldn't see it, but I was fairly certain that So Hee rolled her eyes at me in disgust. 

"Somehow I doubt that even higher education will be able to help a space case like you," she growled. 

My grin grew even bigger than when I thought about aliens vs. Godzilla. That was So Hee's way of showing affection. Sure most others might not understand that, but we were inseparable like baby remoras on a shark. Or something like that. 

I could feel her glaring at me, but it didn't bother me since I could feel her arms tighten around me at the same time, working in direct opposition of the anger her eyes were telling me. 

We might not have said it out loud, but I think we both knew that it was as good as if we had pinky sworn. I would come back to the Wonder Girls one day and she would be there. Waiting for me. 

\---------

One day.


End file.
